Spring Cleaning

Today I decided to clean my house. Sounds easy you might think, but it can be a perilous endeavor for several reasons. Some aspects of cleaning are automatic, I am almost anal about a clean kitchen, and as a guy that loves to cook, things have to be neat, orderly and sanitary. Secondly, bathrooms are also de rigeur, because there is nothing worse than a nasty bathroom, that includes tubs, toilets and sinks. I had a friend, that when his new girlfriend (and now wife) decided that his house needed an overhaul, showed me the bathroom.  It was the first and only time I have ever seen a tub with a full head of hair, and, believe me, I am not talking about shedding. Underneath the shower mat was an amazing growth of some sort of hairlike creature like I have never seen. I thought of the infomercial potential, but I am not cheesy like that, and that was a little too gross for me.

Guys in general, have different views of housekeeping that vary over time. As a college student, it is about freedom far more than cleanliness, generally speaking. As a young adult, clean enough is good enough. The tendency is to hide things under beds and in closets. As a married guy, spotlessness is usually achieved, usually accompanied by clever accesssorization. Things unnecessary to a single guy become imperative. I, for one, never knew the importance of scented candles, ambience was not high on the priority list. Paper products are another consideration. A single guy needs paper towels and toilet paper. Napkins, Kleenex, etc., unnecessary. It is somewhat of an utilitarian mindset. A paper towel can be a napkin, Kleenex or even a plate when necessary. Tempting as it may be, I will refrain from comments about "guest towels" and decorative soap. I am sure that my readers can fill in those blanks adequately.  The issue at hand is a little different. We have touched on the stages of household cleanliness, but what happens if one finds oneself no longer married?

The first and easy answer is regression, but there is an element of nuance to it. At first, the tendency is to maintain appearances, although this quickly becomes difficult when furniture, darling knicknacks and window treatments disappear. The second phase is total regression, the tendency is to only do what is essential, but, always keep the yard nice. The next phase is rebuilding, which invariably leads to the visual image of college life. What used to be the formal dining room becomes a wonderful game room, that can include pool, foosball, or darts, depending on available space. Personally, I was able to do two out of three, and I didn't have a pool table. The fourth phase is the recognition that the place has got to get an overhaul, but where to start?

By this point, except for the areas of strength, in my case, kitchens and bathrooms, everything else has gone to pot. Windows, riiiight. Dusting, you have got to be kidding. People should be amazed that the houseplants are thriving. This brings us to the obvious next area, floors. I do not know which one of us hates vacuum cleaners more, Sam the Wonder Dog or Yours Truly. Sure vacuuming is an easy and quick task, accomplished quite frequently when one lives with those stricken by allergies. For me, however, if it involves floor level, I dislike it intensely. The only thing I despise more than vacuuming is mopping, must be something about floors. As much as I hate to admit it, I would rather paint the baseboards than clean them. Although I have not tried this, the concept of textured baseboards is a little unsettling. In college, I had a roommate that, when frustrated cleaned the floors. If I wind up with a roommate in the future, that is a quality I would appreciate. For college kids, our floors were spotless.

So, where does that leave us? I am doing the damned floors, don't want to, need to. If I had a good excuse, I would get out of it. Sam the Wonder Dog is out back, out of consideration. The houseplants are still thriving, even the Venus Flytrap that my stepson left behind. The dartboard and foosball table are still in the dining room, the big ass grill is gleaming in the afternoon sunshine, and can expect a loving visit this evening, and I, when I have sufficiently dampened the floors will retreat to the front porch with a cold beer and an Allman Brothers CD and greet the evening.

No houseplants, wonderdogs or other living creatures were harmed in the execution of this cleaning mission or this epistle (with the possible exception of a spider or three). All things being equal, I fully understand Neil Young when he wrote "A Man Needs A Maid." Which, in closing, I have to truly give tremendous respect to my mother and many like her, that juggled careers and managed households in an era that bedsheets had to be ironed, there were no microwaves and daily maintenance was a full time job. I don't know about all guys, but I wasn't built for this, I will continue to give it my best shot, and dream of the day that a vacuum cleaner and mop become little more than a domestic resume' item. Peace!

Ruminations About Stuff

Several years back, quite a few actually, the late comic genius, George Carlin, did an extented bit on stuff.  He talked about the attraction of stuff, and how the accumulation of stuff controls our lives. His bit was funny, mine only a synopsis. Jimmy Buffett noted the same principle talking about the need for self storage.  The Legendary Mikey P take on this, was said before by this not so humble scribe, "The secret to happiness is merely to want what you have."  Most of the truly unhappy people in this world are miserable because they want things they don't have, usually don't need and often, can't use. We accumulate stuff, period. The obsession drives us crazy, so what do we do about it.

I stand firmly behind the premise that the secret to happiness is to want what you have, but that is coupled with the realization that there are many that only want what they need. One of my Dad's favorite lines was that there is a big difference between what you want and what you need (he was way ahead of REM). When my brother or I asked for something, it was measured as to want or need. Most of the time, it was deemed a want, and the acquisition was determined by the level of want. Example, I wanted a car at 16, Dad said, "Get a job and buy one." My argument was but then I couldn't play baseball, I got the car, and a crappy job in a fast food joint. Should have stuck to baseball.

Recently, a sequence of events forced me to revisit the eternal Want-Need question. Many things that I considered to be absolutely essential, are, in fact, not. Many of the things that I have taken for granted, are, absolutely essential.  I am not talking about basic survival things here, but the things we accept as given.  I am unlikely to be any wiser than I was as an abject fool, but I do consider myself proud to be an ideological idiot. It isn't wisdom to suggest culling the extra stuff that clogs your life up, but a valid suggestion. The Legendary Mikey P wants a better world and wants to see the best in everybody, and is disappointed when that does not happen because many people are so single minded that they cannot get out of there way to allow themselves to find the happiness they so desire.  The Legendary Mikey P has spoken, and as such, Says So.

Curveball

Almost all of my favorite moments as a kid, and as an adult took place on a ballfield. I turned into a fairly decent coach, but my playing success was limited by the inability to hit the curveball. We are not talking about sometimes, we are talking about all the time. Throw me a fastball, look out. Throw me a curve, back to the dugout I go. Now what is the point of that, other than loving baseball? Simple, baseball is a metaphor for life, just nicely contained between white lines. Life, unfortunately, is not that simple. Most of us struggle with the same shortcomings that I had as a player, the curveball.  If you get objective and think about it, life, itself, is nothing but a series of curveballs.  Most of us can't hit 'em, but we keep swinging. The best in baseball may hit.300, that means they fail over two thirds of the time. Life doesn't give us fastballs, it is all breaking balls, but that is okay. The at bat doesn't matter as much as the next one.  It is okay to know that you can't hit the curve, but every time you step in the box, you pray for the fastball but believe that this time you are going to nail that curve.

Almost everyone I know is dealing with issues of some sort, and they can be overwhelming. Trust me I know what a good butt kicking looks like, from the wrong side. The point is, learning how to handle the curve, that is the essence of life. We hope for fastballs but get curves. The solution, learn to go with the pitch. Whatever life gives you, just get the ball in play, or if all else fails, move the runner or lean in and take it for the team. People are always trying too hard to attach meaning or blame on everything that happens in life.  The ballfield shows you how simple it really is, step up, take your cuts, sometimes you get a hit, most times not, but you get up again and keep swinging. Eventually you get that moment in the sun or the moment of redemption, as the case may be.

This is the rambling of The Legendary Mikey P and therefore terribly important. Think on it.

Peace

think people

Today, a police officer lost his life. A man that devoted 28 years devoted to the protection of all of ubs. He was not on duty, and thankfully it was not an incident that could have jeopardized the community that he served. As a SWAT officer, there are various tools of the trade, in Officer Thornton's case, an equipment malfunction occurred while he was doing the routine maintenance to keep his necessary tools safe. Any loss of life is a horrible thing, but this is especially tragic, in that, many people continue to do their job after hours, and this man was essentially working off the clock to maintain the tools that are required to protect all of us. It is a tragedy that anyone with the conviction to devote a life to protecting all of us should lose their life. While we should all be thankful that there was no crisis threatening innocent people, we must be mindful that this man, and many other men and women are willing to offer up their very lives for us. Most of us take it for granted, we are annoyed at the speeding ticket, or the license check, heck I am guilty, I joke that I won't walk into a KMart because I don't like blue lights. But the simple truth is, our lives are better because of the people that are willing to risk their lives for our security. I truly wanted to post something else tonight, preferably funny, but we all need to step back and have appreciation for those souls that are willing to risk their lives to ensure our quality of life that we take for granted. I hope everyone will say a prayer for the family of Officer Thornton and also for all those that protect what we hold dear.

Mikey P has spoken

Peace

WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION-Skip Wiley

It all began long ago, but this isn't it. This IT begins now, and no one is sure yet what IT is. The motto of course is listed as the title to this post, but The Legendary Mikey P is not political, so don't panic. The IT of whatever this is will evolve...as I make it up. Some of IT will be inspirational some of IT will be educational, part of IT will let you know about things you should know, some of  IT will involve music. There may be an occasional blatant (and historically inaccurate) prediction regarding the Chicago Cubs, or the occasional cooking tip.  When all of that fails, IT will be humorous, sarcastic, and full of shameless self promotion.  IT will be entertaining (at least for me) and always PG. To those that have encouraged me, thanks and shame on you, now the rest of the world will see what you endure.  In closing, I do promise actual content soon, and will leave you with a quote from Mark Twain (who incidentally stole some of my best material, even though he died long before my birth), "All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure. "

The Legendary Mikey P Says So


Peace